First 250 for the Made of Awesome Contest

Feel free to be brutal! I've gone through several iterations of this and it's still not where I want it. I appreciate all feedback. Thanks!

Title: Princess Protection Agency
Genre: YA Fantasy

A huge horse thundered down the road leading to the castle, clouds of dust billowing in its wake. Farmers and traders scrambled out of the way to avoid being trampled. Carts were overturned and livestock scattered.

“Who rides a horse that fast? Is there some war I don’t know about?” Evelyn asked as she knelt next to the boar they’d felled. Her eyes narrowed as she glared at the approaching rider.

“I wish,” Ruby said, her hand moving to her axe at the mention of conflict.

“Who cares? It’s some buffoon acting stupid,” Ingrid said. She gnawed her bottom lip as her gaze flicked between Evelyn and the rider.

Another group of farmers scattered as the horse charged toward them. The rider was thirty feet away and closing fast. Evelyn frowned.

“He’s rude. No reason to ride like a maniac. Time for him to learn to be more considerate of Norland’s citizens,” Evelyn said. She pulled her hunting knife from the boar and wiped it on the grass.

“I don’t think so. If I had to guess, I’d say he’s very considerate. A real peach,” Ingrid said. Her translucent wings shimmered as they fluttered.

“Don’t be a coward. We can teach him manners.” Evelyn’s finger ran along the edge of her knife as she headed to the road.

“Too dangerous. We should stay here in the grass,” Ingrid said, not that her argument would do any good. Her trembling hand gripped the wand at her side and her wings beat faster with each thud of the horse's hooves.

Made of Awesome Contest

Shelley Watters is hosting a "Made of Awesome Contest" contest at her blog, Is It Hot In Here Or Is It This Book?.

Everyone who signs up can post the first 250 words of their completed manuscript on May 28th. Then the participants go around and critique each others' post from the 28th to the 30th. That's a great way to get a ton of feedback from other writers.

And since it's a contest, there have to be winners, right? Agent Judith Engracia of Liza Dawson and Associates will read all of the first pages and select one for a ten-page critique.

To participate, sign up on her blog, http://shelleywatters.blogspot.com/.

Good luck!